


love was blind

by forestjoshua



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Everyone ships Joshler, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Tyler, Pining, Pining Tyler, Sweet Josh, Teeny bit of angst, all the ways josh shows his love for tyler, some humor in there i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 10:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11667444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestjoshua/pseuds/forestjoshua
Summary: "Tyler Joseph was convinced that Josh Dun’s mission in life was to make Tyler’s life as hard as possible."Josh is sweet. Tyler pines.





	love was blind

**Author's Note:**

> my god it took long writing this... i don't know why
> 
> i've been working on multiple joshler projects but this is the only one-shot. 
> 
> enjoy!

_prelude._

Tyler Joseph was convinced that Josh Dun’s mission in life was to make Tyler’s life as hard as possible.

Josh Dun was an absolute sweetheart. In Tyler Joseph’s eyes he was the perfect person, the fire in his heart, the apple of his eye. Josh was kind and considerate. He was smart and talented. He was also stunningly beautiful; unique features, warm eyes and colorful hair.

But sometimes Josh did not know his boundaries, and this fact had lately started to drive Tyler insane. Tyler, who had harbored feelings for Josh for ages, did not know what Josh exactly wanted to signal with certain things he did in Tyler’s proximity.

And the list of the things had grown _long._

 

\--

 

_i._

They were having an afterparty in a city Tyler was too tired to actually name. They were somewhere in the center of the US, however, and Tyler was still riding off the high of the night. Adrenaline was still buzzing underneath his skin.

It was a fairly small gathering, with some friends, friends of the mentioned friends and a few family members. They were at some place Zack had rented for the group for couple of hours. Music was playing at just the right volume and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

Tyler stood near the door, a can of Red Bull in his hand. He was listening to Michael who was explaining about some weird incident that had happened to him the other day. Tyler had an inkling that Josh would have appreciated the story more. He was a great listener, Josh, always all ears. How many times had Tyler ranted to him about this and that, and how many times had Tyler felt a thousand times better after it.

 _Where was Josh?_ Tyler had last seen him getting in a cab with Jordan. It was rare for Tyler and Josh to be apart. Josh barely left Tyler’s side, and almost never his mind. Somehow, during the night, during the ruckus and the flow people, they had lost hold of each other.

Michael’s explanation did not seem to even near the end. Tyler only listened with half an ear. He concentrated on scanning the room for Josh. Tyler couldn’t find him. He was tapping his foot in pace of the music, and gripping the Red Bull can, as he noticed his sister dancing with some of Mark’s friends. Mark himself was speaking to Jordan and some people Tyler didn’t know. He saw Jenna, Zack and Tatum, and then finally Josh.

Josh already had his eyes on Tyler. It didn’t happen rarely. Whenever Tyler and Josh were on the opposite sides of the room, they still, in a way, were with each other. Because Josh was always looking at Tyler.

Tyler had noticed it just recently. At first, it seemed to be happen only during concerts and rehearsals. Tyler would turn towards the drums, and there was Josh, looking at him. Tyler would go online and watch the interviews they had done and see on the videos that Josh’s eyes never left him. Then it had started happening in situations like this, them staring at each other across a room full of people.

It wasn’t some intense eye-fucking some might have expected. It was Josh, smiling with his eyes towards Tyler and Tyler staring dumbly back, in awe. And Tyler was almost used to it that when he lifted his gaze he would find Josh’s eyes on him. Tyler liked it, but he didn’t know what it meant. Why would Josh look at Tyler so much if he already spent all his hours with Tyler? Would too much Tyler eventually bore him?

”Tyler, are you even listening?” asked Michael, sounding annoyed. Tyler snapped out if it, but before that Michael’s gaze had followed Tyler’s across the room where Josh stood.

”Nevermind,” Michael sighed before Tyler could answer, and left him alone to continue the staring contest with Josh.

 

\--

 

_ii._

 

”Have you eaten today?”

Tyler lifted his eyes from the contract papers he had been staring for an hour to find Josh standing in front of him, all bright eyes and warm smile.

”Um, not really hungry,” he muttered.

”You sure?” said Josh, waving the lasagna plate he was holding. It smelled delicious, but Tyler felt like he couldn’t concentrate on food right now.

”Really, Josh, I’m fine.”

Josh took the seat opposite to Tyler, and said,

”If you are not in the mood for lasagna, which Michael and I made, we could go to this sushi place Jenna recommended.”

”Have you taken a look at this?” Tyler asked instead, ignoring Josh’s will to feed him. He made a vague movement towards the papers.

”Um, sure,” Josh answered, catching a piece of pasta from the plate with a plastic fork and shoving it in his mouth. ”I think it’s okay, but all is up to you, of course. I’ll sign if you sign.”

Tyler sighed. ”It’s nothing, just…”

”What?” asked Josh, noticing Tyler’s doubts. His earnest dark brown eyes seemed gaze into Tyler’s soul, but it wasn’t intrusive. The opposite – it calmed Tyler, he saw that Josh truly cared and he could trust him with the most ridiculous insecurities.

Josh had some sauce on the corner of his mouth, and Tyler really wanted to reach across the table and wipe it away with his thumb. But that was off the limits.

”Three albums is a lot.”

”We have four albums,” Josh pointed out.

”Half the songs on Regional are also on Vessel. And the first one is basically just old material reused.”

”You can do it,” Josh encouraged. ”Besides, they didn’t set a deadline. It could take twenty years.”

”I don’t think the fans would be so patient.”

”I beg to differ. We have loyal fans.”

Josh munched the lasagna. He looked extra adorable today. Canary yellow hair was sticking out underneath a grey beanie, and he was wearing a Twenty One Pilots tour shirt. Tyler set his chin on his hands and enjoyed just looking at Josh for a while.

”You know, Ty, you can talk to me about anything,” Josh said. ”I’ll always listen and try to help. Even with the smallest and most ridiculous things. I’m here for you.”

Tyler was ever grateful for Josh’s support.

”I’m just afraid that some super writer’s block will strike me,” he said.

”You have written a lot,” Josh commented.

”For now. For the next album. But Fueled by Ramen wants two more. And I want the material to be all mine – ours. Twenty One Pilots will not record songs by Pete Wentz.”

Josh chuckled and his smile was so lovely Tyler wanted to die a little.

”Well, if you one day happen to be out of inspiration you can always resort to writing about butts like everyone else.”

Tyler snorted. ”Fine, I’ll write an ode to your ass.”

”Brilliant. We could replace Ode to Sleep with Ode to Josh Dun’s Ass.”

Tyler looked at his friend fondly. What had he done to deserve Josh?

Josh’s phone started to ring. His ringtone was still ’Heathens’. ”It’s mom. I have to take this. Eat.” Josh pushed the plate with the fork towards Tyler.

”Tell her hi from me,” Tyler said.

”I will!” came Josh’s answer before he walked away.

Tyler attacked the lasagna plate. He felt warm thinking how Josh took care of him.

 

\--

 

_iii._

 

”So, I was at a gay club last night…”

Tyler dropped his fork is his lap. He and Josh were casually eating leftover pancakes and watching Project Runaway ‒ so Tyler liked to rate the dresses. Sue him. And Josh had great fashion sense and they both thought Tim Gunn was hilarious.

Tyler had not expected that sentence to fall out of Josh’s mouth during the commercial break. ”What?” he squeaked, staring at the fork on his lap.

”Don’t always be so messy, Ty. As I was saying, I went to a gay club with Jake last night…”

”Who’s Jake?” Tyler asked, jealousy spiking.

Josh waved his hand. ”Just a crew member,” he said, mouth full of pancake. ”I talked to him a couple nights ago and he told me he was gay and last night he wanted to go so I decided to go with him.”

”Why?” Tyler could only glare at his half-eaten pancake.

Josh’s shoulder brushed against Tyler’s as he shrugged. ”I’d never been to one before. Curiosity took over me. But get this!” Josh put his plate on the table and turned towards Tyler, eyes gleaming. ”They were playing Twenty One Pilots!”

Tyler lifted his brow. He had never anticipated his music playing at, well, any club. But a gay club? There was nothing gay about Twenty One Pilots. Okay, now he was just blatantly lying to himself. He was still surprised.

”Yeah,” Josh said looking excited like he always was when it came to Twenty One Pilots. His drummer truly was their band’s biggest fan. ”I was talking to this lesbian and noticed something _really_ familiar was playing.”

”Stressed Out?” They played that tune _everywhere._

”No, Lane Boy! I was so thrilled, Tyler! So, I just blurted out to Susie that it was _my_ song, and she thought, like, I meant it was my jam, which it is too, and she dragged me on the dancefloor. So then I danced to Lane Boy with Susie and Jake and somebody grabbed my ass.”

Tyler was baffled. Project Runaway had come from the break, and Tim Gunn was questioning some poor wannabe designer’s color choices, but Tyler could only stare at Josh’s enthusiastic face.

”You went to a gay club, danced to Lane Boy with our gay crew member and a random lesbian called _Susie,_ and on top of that somebody grabbed your _ass?”_

”I had fun!” Josh exclaimed. Looks like he really did. Maybe Tyler should go with him next time. _Next time._ Why was he thinking there was going to be a next time? ”Then I told Susie I was in the band and she thought it was so cool! We talked about you.”

”Me?”

”Yeah, I told her what a great songwriter you are. I also told here about your half-lesbian thing. She thought it was hilarious.” Josh giggled, but Tyler resorted to rolling his eyes.

”She wanted to go outside for a smoke but we ended up talking about you and Twenty One Pilots for two hours.”

”You talked about me for two hours? I’m flattered!” Tyler smiled softly.

”I’ve talked a lot about you and your music to many people. You’re my favorite musician.”

Josh was going to kill him one of these days, with his admiration, his warm gentle voice and constant support that he showed to Tyler and their band.

 _You inspire me,_ Tyler wanted to voice. Instead, he stayed silent and turned towards the TV screen to look at the hideous creations the designers-to-be had decided to present them this week.

 

\--

_iv._

 

”Mark, have you seen my skeleton hoodie today?”

Tyler had lost the damn piece of clothing. He had no special need to wear it but he was short of clothes. Especially long sleeved shirts, they were all dirty, and had just worn the hoodie yesterday and knew for a fact it was still wearable.

He was cold.

”It’s right where you last put it,” said Mark, continuing the Fruit Ninja game on his phone.

”For real, Mom,” Tyler sighed, poking the back of Mark’s head, ”Where are all my clothes?” He had lost his Twenty One Pilots top, and tons of socks too.

”I don’t know, Tyler. Buried underneath all your other clothes? Have you ever heard of a laundromat?”

Tyler scoffed. ”I’ve been busy!”

”Lazing around?”

”You do the same!”

”At least I wash my clothes!”

”Guys?” They turned towards Josh, who had just sneaked up behind them.

Josh, who had just woken up from his nap, whose yellow hair was sticking up, whose nose ring was slightly crooked, who was wearing a familiar top with a familiar band logo. And were those Tyler’s socks?

”You woke me up,” Josh whined, getting closer to Tyler and placing his chin on his shoulder.

”You woke up the baby,” said Mark, ”I want a divorce.” Tyler made a face at him.

”What are you guys fighting about?” Josh yawned, rubbing his eyes. He had detached himself from Tyler and thrown himself next to Mark, who snorted,

”Tyler is just being his lazy and messy self.”

”Hey!” Tyler pointed an accusing finger at Mark. ”I am neat and productive.” Josh nodded along.

”Right…” said Mark.

Tyler rubbed his arms. He was still feeling chilly. ”Mark thinks I should wash my clothes more often. I have no need, because I know for a fact my skeleton hoodie is nice and clean and I could wear it for the rest of the week _if only I could locate it._ ”

”Your hoodie? Let me get it,” said Josh. He sprinted up like hadn’t been in deep sleep about ten minutes ago.

Mark raised an eyebrow when he locked his gaze with Tyler. ”It’s only logical that he’d have it. Did you notice he’s wearing your top?”

”How do you know that?”

”I know everything.”

Josh skipped back to them, a black piece of clothing hanging off his arm.

”Ta-dah!” He presented the hoodie to Tyler.

”That’s your hoodie,” Tyler pointed out.

”No it isn’t.” Josh pushed his finger through a small hole on the sleeve. ”See?”

”My hoodie doesn’t have holes.”

”Really? Because I don’t remember getting them on mine either.”

”I think you might have mixed up your hoodies,” Mark commented. He was holding back laughter.

Josh looked at Tyler, then the hoodie, then back at Tyler. ”Oh, well.” He shrugged and threw the hoodie to Tyler. ”Here, have this one. I’ll go look for the other one.”

Without realizing, Tyler pressed the soft hoodie to his cheek and sniffed it. It smelled like Josh, but Tyler really couldn’t tell who had worn the hoodie originally. _What’s mine is yours._

”Gross,” said Mark. Tyler had forgotten his presence, and now Mark had witnessed him cuddling possibly-Josh’s-hoodie.

Embarrassing, really.

 

\--

 

_v._

Recently, Josh had been smiling a lot.

Not that Tyler complained. He loved Josh’s smile. He loved Josh’s laugh. He always was absolutely mesmerized by both of them.

About a month ago, Josh had had a really bad week. He had been a little sick, and anxiety had been bothering him. During that week, Tyler only saw smiles that didn’t reach Josh’s radiant eyes, heard laughs that sounded more like scoffs. Tyler had hated it, seeing Josh unhappy had made him feel more than _miserable._ The whole week, he had wanted put his fist through a wall.

When Josh had finally truly _smiled_ for the first time after a week, Tyler had just wanted to praise the Lord. The sun was shining again, the Earth was turning.

Maybe the awful week still affected Tyler, he didn’t really know, but Josh’s smiles had become more frequent. It was a distraction for Tyler. Every time Josh smiled or laughed, Tyler couldn’t look away. He couldn’t concentrate on anything other than Josh’s stunning face.

Josh could have told him to play a show naked, and if he only smiled in a certain way, Tyler would had obeyed him.

”Tyler, can we go bowling?” Josh asked one afternoon when they encountered each other on a hotel hallway.

They had just arrived in a new city, and after hours on the road, all Tyler really wanted was to collapse on the fresh hotel sheets and forget about the world for a while, until the next evening when he’d had to put on a show once again.

Josh was a ball of energy. But he had the strange ability to fall asleep _anywhere_ whereas Tyler needed more stable conditions. His drummer had slept during the journey, and woken up resembling a toddler in a sugar rush.

”Josh,” Tyler yawned, ”Go ask someone else. Ask Jake. I don’t know, I’m so tired.”

”Come on, Ty!”

Josh broke out _the smile_. Oh no. Tyler would be a goner in minutes, seconds, even.

”Nooooooo,” Tyler whined.

”Jordan went bowling the other night. I saw pictures. I’ve been wanting to go ever since.”

”Take someone else this time.” Tyler tried to pass Josh, but Josh wasn’t letting him go.

”Tyler, please?”

Tyler stopped to look at Josh’s face. Did Josh just actually bat his eyelashes at him? And there was that smile again…

”It’s just around the corner, I saw it,” came Josh’s last argument.

”Take someone else,” Tyler tried to whine, one last time.

”They are not _you.”_

One last smile. Okay, that was it. Tyler was going.

Long story short, Tyler fell asleep at the bowling alley.

 

\--

 

_vi._

”Tyjo, could you come here for a sec?”

Jake’s voice echoed through the speakers. Tyler lifted his gaze to find him waving at him. He jogged over. They didn’t usually took part in building the venue, but Tyler was bored so he had come to have a look around and try out some piano chords.

”So, we were thinking about the B-stage and where you want the platform…”

Tyler listened as Jake explained about the barriers. Half way through, when Jake pondered on how they’d get Tyler and Josh the B-stage as swift as possible, Tyler felt a familiar presence approach him.

”Hi!” Josh laid a hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

”Joshua, hello!” Jake smiled. ”Up for clubbing tonight?”

Josh laughed. ”Sorry, Jake, I’ll pass this time. What’s going on?”

”Tyler and I are going over some details,” Jake explained. ”Hey, you know Michael won’t actually be here tomorrow, so who do you want to lift you during Holding onto You?”

”Pardon?”

”Yeah, when you stand on the barrier. Who’s going to take his place? Ben? Mark?”

”Maybe I could do it!” Josh exclaimed, snaking his arms around Tyler’s waist and hoisting him up. Tyler let out on embarrassing squeak, which made Jake snort.

”Put me down, Jishwa,” Tyler pleaded, kicking with his legs, palming Josh’s bicep.

”No, I’m going to carry you around for the rest of the day,” Josh said playfully, shaking Tyler up and down, which made him even a little nauseous, or maybe that was due to Josh’s skin against his.

His breath on his neck, his arms snug around him.

”Guys, honestly,” Jake smiled as Josh started to twirl Tyler around. ”I’m going to take a coffee break. Ben can take care of Tyler tomorrow.”

”Only I can take care of Tyler!” Josh shouted after him. Jake made a dismissive gesture. Josh finally let Tyler’s feet touch the ground, but Tyler didn’t escape his hold.

He let Josh loosen his arms until they were merely holding hands. Josh turned Tyler around and looked at him, smiling. He didn’t let go of Tyler’s hands. Tyler felt his palms go sweaty.

”I need to show you something,” Josh said, excited. He only let go of Tyler’s right hand, and kept holding the other.

All the way to the dressing rooms, they held hands like young lovers. But that probably meant nothing.

 

\--

 

_vii._

”Tyler, it happens. You did great.”

It’s Jenna’s gentle voice and comforting touch on his shoulder. Tyler was sitting in his dressing room, sulking. The show had ended an hour ago and Tyler’s mind was torturing him.

The concert… could gave gone better. Tyler felt like he had messed up everything right from the start. He had had some confusion about the set list. He had sang the wrong words. He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had even slipped and fell, and even though he had managed to laugh it off, he had felt like failure.

 _Are you okay,_ had Josh mouthed at him. Tyler had brushed it off. Josh had to despise him now.

The show was a mess and Tyler felt like screaming. He had disappointed thousands of fans tonight. He had disappointed Josh, the crew, his friends, his family. He was a disappointment.

He had just ranted to Jenna for about half an hour. She was a great listener, but in the end getting it all out hadn’t really helped Tyler. He even felt slightly worse, despite Jenna’s reassures. After voicing all the bad, they seemed to get to him all at once.

”Tyler, really, don’t go to your dark place.” Jenna caressed Tyler’s shoulder with her thumb, but Tyler shrugged her hand away. Jenna lowered her gaze to meet Tyler’s distressed eyes.

”I’ll be right back,” she whispered and left the room. She didn’t return, instead it was Josh who found Tyler. Of course Jenna had gone to fetch the drummer.

”Hi, Ty,” Josh said quietly. He sat right next to him, shoulders brushing.

Tyler didn’t answer him, just grunted in recognition.

”Jenna said you weren’t feeling well,” Josh continued. ”Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

”What’s bothering me?” Tyler spat. ”You saw how I screwed up!” Tyler’s words were like poison, turning Josh’s eyes very concerned.

”Do you mean when you fell? That’s nothing, remember when I stumbled over my drums a few nights ago?”

When Josh stumbled, it was adorable. When Tyler did, it was just pitiful.

But it wasn’t only about the falling.

”Did you hurt your leg?” Josh asked. Tyler’s ankle was a little sore, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the dark clouds in his head.

”I was a screw up,” Tyler said and then it all came out as an uninterrupted babble before he could stop it. Josh listened. He listened with wide eyes, sorrow nested in them.

Tyler collapsed with uncontrolled sobs against Josh. Josh hugged him tight, as Tyler tried to burrow into him. He felt Josh’s arms come around him, squeezing tight as he held Tyler. In turn, Tyler put his own arms around Josh’s shoulders, and pressed his face against Josh’s neck.

Tyler could have stayed there for hours – in this feeling of hugging Josh and Josh holding him in turn. Josh’s hugs were always warm and gentle, and they made Tyler feel like he was in the safest place in the universe. It was just them, and not even a nuclear bomb could interrupt their moment.

In Josh’s embrace, Tyler finally felt his heart start to mend.

 

\--

 

_viii._

”So, there might have been a little mix up with the rooms,” Michael came to say to them.

”What?” said Tyler. He was leaning into his luggage, exhaustion eating his bones.

Michael scratched the back of his neck. ”We are lacking one room, and the hotel can’t give us one until Thursday.”

”We leave on Thursday,” Tyler pointed out.

”I know,” said Michael. ”What are we going to do?”

”I could give up my room and bunk with Tyler,” offered Josh.

”There’s only one bed in each room,” Michael said.

”I know,” Josh said, completely straight-faced. ”Does it really matter if we share a bed? Right, Ty?”

Tyler was too dumbfounded to reply.

”It’s up to you guys,” Michael shrugged. ”But Jenna already informed that she isn’t sharing her room with anyone.”

”We must obey Queen Jenna’s will.” Josh smiled at Tyler, who still hadn’t found his words.

So, they ended up sharing a room. And a bed. Like that hadn’t happened before. Like the early days hadn’t been anything but sharing everything.

Tyler and Josh were sitting in the bed, sides touching, watching funny videos on Josh’s iPad. They were giggling like schoolgirls during a first sleepover, when Jenna came to wish them good night and asked them to be just a little bit quieter.

”Maybe we should go to sleep?” Josh whispered with a grin when Jenna had left.

”Yeah,” Tyler yawned. He reached over to take the iPad from Josh, deliberately brushing their fingers together. Sometimes, he felt that bold with Josh and allowed himself to look a little longer, touch with a little more meaning. He doubted Josh noticed anything. It was Tyler’s treat.

Tyler placed the iPad on the nightstand, then shifted to turn off the lights.

”Tyler,” said Josh pointedly, ”Could you please leave them on until I fall asleep at least?”

”Right, Joshie.” Because Josh was a weirdo who liked to fall asleep in brightness. ”Your wish is my command.”

Josh would most definitely fall asleep before Tyler. He’d just have to close his eyes and be gone, whereas Tyler’s search for sleep took longer.

When Josh’s breathing soon slowed down and became softer, and when he turned utterly still beside Tyler, Tyler didn’t dare to switch off the lamp. No, instead, he rolled on his side to stare at Josh, marveling his beautiful profile. The yellow hair fell on the pillow, creating a halo around Josh’s head.

 _My angel,_ thought Tyler, then immediately blushed.

After minutes of staring, Tyler sighed deeply. He couldn’t continue this way. He couldn’t spend all his night admiring Josh. He needed to sleep too.

So, Tyler turned around to switch off the lamp. He stayed stubbornly facing the wall instead of Josh, just in case.

He woke up hours later with someone kicking him.

”What?” Tyler murmured, blinking the sleep away from his eyes. He couldn’t see in the dark, but he could feel that Josh had gotten closer to him. Their legs were almost intertwined, and Josh’s left one was kicking Tyler’s right. Josh hummed in his sleep, making adorable noise.

”Josh,” Tyler whispered, ”Quit it. I can’t sleep if you keep kicking me.”

”Tyler…” Josh mumbled. He inched closer, and suddenly Josh had laid his head on Tyler’s chest. His hair tickled Tyler’s nose.

At least the legs had calmed down but Tyler doubted he could get any better sleep with Josh flush against him, skin on skin.

”Tyler,” Josh said again.

”Josh, are you awake?”

Josh hummed and nuzzled Tyler’s chest. Then he started to snore softly.

”Oh, sweetheart,” Tyler whispered. ”You stay there and sleep.”

Tyler allowed himself to card his fingers through Josh’s hair a couple of times before drifting off to the blissful unconscious state, arms snug around Josh.

 

 

\--

 

”Good morning.”

Dry lips grazed his cheek, stubble scratched his skin.

Josh was gone before Tyler got to process everything.

Mark’s eyebrows were climbing towards his hairline, as he eyed the abashed Tyler, whose mouth was hanging slightly open, and whose hand, holding a forkful off scrambled eggs, was frozen midair.

”What was that?” Mark broke the silence.

”A kiss?” Tyler stuttered.

”I know you guys are close,” Mark stated, ”But since when do you kiss hello?”

”Ask Josh,” Tyler muttered, attacking his eggs once more.

”Ask Josh what?” asked Michael, throwing his breakfast plate next to Mark and dropping to sit beside him.

Mark’s face turned smug, and Tyler rolled his eyes at him, in vain.

”Mike, does Josh kiss you when he sees you?” Mark asked.

Michael looked baffled, frowning at Mark. ”What? Of course not! The only person Josh might kiss around here is Tyler.”

”So they _have_ kissed before?”

”I’ve never seen them kiss each other on the lips,” Michael pondered.

”Guys!” Tyler offered weakly, but they ignored him, so he was forced to face the situation, blushing like crazy.

Mark leaned closer to Michael. ”But they _do_ kiss sometimes?”

Tyler groaned loudly, so that the woman at the next table glanced at him disapprovingly.

”What?” Mark frowned at Tyler. ”Why are you squirming like that? It’s just a kiss on the cheek. They do that shit all over Europe.”

”Look at him, he’s red like a beet,” Michael chuckled, pointing at Tyler’s crimson face.

It looked like a lamp had just lighted above Mark’s head as his eyes widened. ”Dude, do you have feelings for Josh?”

”Mark!” Tyler hissed. ”Not so loud in front of everyone.”

”Tyler has a crush on Josh!” Mark wheezed.

”He’s had a crush on Josh for ages,” Michael sighed, ”He’s just gotten worse at hiding it.”

Tyler saw there was no point of denying anything, these two would never let him live whatever the case.

”Hi! What’s going on here?” asked Jenna, who had appeared on Tyler’s other side. She was eyeing cautiously the blushing Tyler, and Mark and Michael’s knowing smirks.

”Jenna, how many times have you seen Tyler and Josh kiss?” Mark asked her.

”They kiss all the time – on the cheek, forehead, shoulder…”

”How about lips?”

”Well, they are just guys being dudes, I don’t think they do that that much.”

”Jen, I’m sitting right here,” Tyler complained.

”Tyler would definitely like to add the proper kisses to the mix,” Michael said, waggling his eyebrows.

Jenna’s eyes grew large, and she turned towards the appalled Tyler who was gaping like a fish. ”Really? That’s so sweet, let me play matchmaker!”

”Jenna, no,” Tyler put a stop to it. ”Let me suffer in peace.”

”But you would make an adorable couple!”

”Who would make an adorable couple?” asked Josh who had just arrived with a plate full of pancakes.

Tyler dropped his fork deliberately so that he could hide underneath the table for a while to calm his thoughts.

 

\--

 

_x._

”I need to go to the bank with Grandma,” said Jenna when Tyler answered her phone call.

”Okay,” Tyler replied, a bit confused. ”What does that mean?”

”Can you come over and watch Mercy, meanwhile? Just an hour or two, tops. Granny has urgent business and she needs my help.”

Tyler inhaled through his nose sharply. ”Jenna, I can’t. I’m about to have dinner with Maddy and Will. Honestly, I can’t cancel, I’ve already done it like three times in a row.”

”Oh, crap. You’re the last person on my list… I really can’t take Mercy with me.”

”I’m sorry, Jen.” Tyler licked his lip, thinking of a person who always clicked with children. ”Have you called Josh already?”

”He’s in Columbus?” came Jenna’s excited voice.

”Yeah, he’s staying with his parents.”

”Awesome! I’ll ring him definitely.”

”Okay, great, bye Jenna!”

”Bye!”

Tyler tossed himself on his bed and held the phone against his chest. He stared at the ceiling and listened to the sounds of kids playing outside.

Tyler unlocked his phone to look fondly at the picture of him and Josh he had put on as a wallpaper. The only thing brighter than Josh’s yellow locks was his huge smile. Tyler couldn’t help smiling right in that moment.

He dived into the world of social media for a while, scrolling through Twitter and liking fans’ tweets.

When the phone started to ring again, it startled Tyler.

”Hi, Maddy,” he answered.

”Hi, brother. Listen, Will is sick.”

”Oh, that’s too bad.”

”Yeah, he’s got high fever. Dinner some other time?”

Tyler rubbed his forehead. ”Absolutely. You take care.”

”You too. Have nice day, don’t sneak off Ohio without informing me, though.”

”I won’t, Maddy,” Tyler laughed.

”Okay, bye then.”

”Bye.”

Wondering if Jenna was still in need of a babysitter, he decided to text her, and got a picture of Josh with Mercy in turn.

His heart melted as he looked at his friend holding the toddler girl. Josh’s smile was splitting his face and Mercy was reaching up, trying to touch Josh’s yellow hair, concentrated expression on her face.

Still smiling at his phone, Tyler roamed downstairs where his mother was watching television.

”Tyler? Still here?” she asked, taking her attention away from Dr Phil for a second. Tyler couldn’t believe his mom liked that trash show.

”Um, yes. Did you hear, Will is sick. Maddy canceled the dinner.”

”Oh, what a pity. What are you smiling at?” His mother had noticed him still staring fondly at the picture of Josh and Mercy.

Tyler, who wanted to show this cuteness to the world, dropped himself on the sofa next to his mother and smugly showed her the photo.

”Oh, that’s adorable!” his mother exclaimed, grabbing the phone to herself. ”Did Jenna send you this?”

”Yeah, Josh is babysitting.”

”I can’t decide who is cuter.”

”Me neither,” Tyler muttered, claiming back his phone to set the picture as his wallpaper. ”I’m going to head over there.”

”You’re going to see them?”

”Since Maddy canceled, yes. I’m not going to miss this.”

Tyler looked at her mom’s smiling face. ”Alright,” she said, ”Go see your boy and the baby. Take more pictures!”

Oh, Tyler so would. There was nothing more adorable in the world than Joshua Dun with children.

 

\--

 

_xi._

 

Tyler couldn’t really pinpoint the moment it started. It was something that just happened; constantly.

Josh called him with various nicknames, but there was no other nickname that made him more flustered than _baby boy._

Every time those two words slipped from Josh’s lips, Tyler could barely function. Words got stuck in his throat, his fingers went slightly numb and his brain just straight-up froze. It wasn’t a bad thing per say, these reactions, but Tyler was terrified of someone noticing the effect that nickname had on Tyler, especially Josh.

” _Baby boy,_ I’m hitting the showers.”

” _Baby boy,_ have you seen my drumsticks?”

”I need a nap, _baby boy.”_

”You’re so sweet, _baby boy.”_

”Honestly, _baby boy,_ I don’t really mind if you change the set list.”

Sometimes Tyler wanted to bury his fingers deep into his hair and _pull,_ just out of frustration. Just because he couldn’t figure out what Josh was hinting at.

”Do you call your wife ’baby’?” Tyler asked Nick one evening when he was reconnecting with an old friend. A very old friend – Tyler barely knew Nick anymore, even though they spoke regularly.

Nick raised his brows, swirling his soda can. ”Yeah, sure. When I’m in the mood. What are you getting at?”

”How about ’baby girl’?”

Nick looked at Tyler like Tyler was a crazy person. Well, had Nick ever thought otherwise? Tyler didn’t care.

”Can’t say I have… No recollection,” said Nick slowly.

”Do you think the term could be seen as… platonic?” Tyler found the courage to say.

To Tyler’s surprise, Nick chuckled, staring at his beer fondly. ”Oh Tyler. I’m getting the feeling this has something to do with Josh.”

Tyler crossed his arms and glared at Nick, pouting. Nick laughed at him.

”Dude, this has you and Josh written all over it. I know you guys. Really, I have noticed the ’baby boy’ thing.”

Tyler fought the blush that was climbing up his neck to his cheeks.

”Relax, Ty-Guy. You and Josh are exception to every rule. Just let him call you ’baby boy’, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Tyler turned his eyes away. He couldn’t deny that he _did_ want the nickname to mean something.

Nick picked up on him. ”Unless you want it to? It’s up to interpretation.”

”Yeah. Just forget about, Nick.”

Tyler’s phone started to ring. It was Josh. Tyler chewed the inside of his cheek, staring at screen.

”Are you going to get that? Is that your ’baby boy’?”

Tyler rolled his eyes, but simultaneously got an idea.

”It’s ’baby boy’ speaking,” Tyler answered. Because he thought lately not a day had gone by without Josh using the nickname.

Tyler looked at Nick, who smirked.

”Tyler, what?” Josh laughed at the other end of the line. ”What are you up to, _baby boy?”_

Blush was again evident on Tyler’s face. ”Hanging out with Old Nick.”

Nick stuck out his tongue.

”Cool!” Josh sounded genuinely joyed. ”Can I join?”

”Be our guest. We’re over at my place.”

 

\--

 

_xii._

The only thing worse than ’baby boy’ was when Josh used Tyler’s _actual_ name.

It sounded weird. Well, not weird.

Special.

Every time he heard Josh’s purr of ‘Tyler’ he felt his skin tingle all over.

It did _things_ to him. Things he was too exhausted to deny.

He was spending one evening with Zack and Tatum. Some dumb talk show was playing on the TV, but they were concentrating on a Trivial Pursuit game. Tatum was winning, but that was no surprise.

Tyler was pondering over where he’d move his game piece next, when Tatum pointed out his phone was ringing.

Tyler glanced at his muted phone on the table. Josh was indeed calling, and Tyler picked up the phone immediately. He never wanted to miss Josh’s call.

”Tyler!” Josh shouted and burst into giggles, so loud Tyler had to detach the device from his ear. Zack and Tatum definitely heard Josh’s exclamation, and they shared a look.

 ”Hi, Josh,” Tyler said more calmly.

”Tyler. Tyler!” It was like Josh couldn’t stop saying his name. ”Tyler, Tyjo, where are you? Where are you, my Tyler Joseph?”

Josh was drunk. It happened rarely, but occasionally. Josh was a lightweight, so he probably hadn’t drank much. Besides, he was quite adorable when he was tipsy.

”I’m at Zack’s.”

”Hey, cool! Can I come? Tyler? I can walk.”

Tyler glanced at Zack, who just rolled his eyes.

”Sure. But please take a taxi.” Tyler didn’t actually know _how_ drunk Josh was. He’d hate for something awful to happen to him. He’d blame himself entirely.

”Taxi cab! I see a taxi cab, Tyler! I’ll be there in five.”

In five - during which they had started a new game since the first one had ended with Tatum’s win – Josh did indeed burst through the door, with bright eyes and unstable steps.

”Hi guys! Hi Tyler!” Josh smiled widely at Tyler as Zack and Tatum murmured hello.

”Hi Josh,” Tyler said, smiling fondly at him despite the drunken state. Tyler didn’t really like drunk people, but Josh was a happy drunk.

”Tyler,” Josh said with a blinding smile, just staring at Tyler. Then his eyes flickered to the game board. ”What are you guys doing?”

”Trivial Pursuit,” answered Zack.

”Oh, cool! Hey, I know things! Right, Tyler? Can I join, Tyler?”

Tyler wished Josh would stop saying his name because it was making him flustered.

”We’re in the middle of a game,” Zack pointed out. Tatum was shuffling the cards.

”Josh can join me,” Tyler decided. ”I don’t know anything and I need help.”

Instead of sitting on the sofa next to Tyler, Josh climbed in his lap. Tyler tried to fight a blush, and Zack and Tatum staring at him definitely didn’t help.

”Whose turn?” asked Josh.

”Tyler,” said Tatum. ”Who plays the lead role in the HBO’s series _Sex and the City?”_

”Ooh, I know this!” Josh gushed. ”Do you know this, Tyler?”

”I might know this. You can answer, though.”

”Thanks, Tyler. It’s Sarah Jessica Parker!”

”Correct!” said Tatum.

”I love that series!” Josh admitted.

”Really?” said Zack, fighting back a laugh.

”Yeah, me and Jenna have marathons.”

”That’s sweet,” said Tatum, ”Okay, next question. What is ’I love you’ in Norwegian?”

”I know this!” Josh shouted, squirming in Tyler’s lap so that Tyler quickly had think about something… unarousing. ”A fan taught me this.”

”You can answer,” Tyler said to him. Josh turned so that he was looking at Tyler. He laid a hand on Tyler’s cheek, and said,

_”Jeg elsker deg.”_

Tyler’s pulse started to raise. Josh giggled, caressing Tyler’s cheek with his thumb. ”Jeg elsker deg, Tyler.”

”Is that correct, Tatum?” Zack asked.

Tatum shushed. ”They’re having a moment, Zack.”

Tyler cleared his throat, and glared at Tatum, who smiled at them sweetly.

”Tyler,” Josh purred, patting Tyler’s stubbled cheek. ”How do you answer me?”

”What?” Tyler blinked at Josh.

Josh giggled, swaying in Tyler’s lap. ”Tyler.” The name, again, slipping from Josh’s perfect lips, making Tyler’s skin tingle. ”You have to say ’Jeg elsker deg også’, silly.” Josh poked at Tyler’s nose. ”You don’t love me?”

”Of course I do!” Tyler choked out.

”Guys?” Zack interrupted. ”Tatum, was Josh correct?”

”I don’t think he pronounced it right, but he was.”

”One more point to Tyler!” Josh cheered.

 

\--

 

_xiii._

Norwegian wasn’t the only language Josh used to profess his love to Tyler.

He used English too, and that was pure torture for Tyler. Oh, what Josh _did_ to him; turning his knees into jelly, mouth dry. Sent his heart skyrocketing, to another atmosphere.

It happened with just three small words, often thrown absentmindedly around. Tyler doubted Josh gave that much thought to the sentiment. It was a mere reflex to him. Josh was filled with love; it spilled over his bones, radiated from his eyes and slipped from his lips.

Lovely, loving Josh. Who was impossible not to love in turn. In fact, Tyler had always loved Josh more than Josh had loved him, despite Tyler being a coward and rarely voicing it.

He played it off as a joke when the three words escaped from his traitorous lips, but in truth Tyler couldn’t help but love, love, love, like it was a competition.

They were standing at the airport, near the baggage claim, both clutching their suitcases, neither of them finding the right words to say.

They’d soon bee separated once again by agonizing miles. Life was cruel, keeping Josh far from him. Tyler wished he’d acted upon his instincts. He wished he’d been petty and selfish, bratty and possessive. He wished, when Josh had announced he’d be moving to California, he’d clutched his legs like a lifeline and screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until Josh was forced to change his mind and stay.

That never happened, and Tyler had watched Josh fly a away, Tyler’s heart with him.

 _I love you,_ Josh had said before leaving.

”I love you,” Josh said now, and a lump started to form in Tyler’s throat. He wasn’t ready to let go.

What was all this dramatics? Josh wasn’t going to leave forever. They’d see each other again, soon.

But it was never soon enough for Tyler. It already felt like someone was inching a dull knife between his ribs.

Only Josh proclaiming his love helped ease the pain. Josh was looking at him with earnest warm eyes. He looked tired, which was rare for Josh who always managed to find energy somewhere. There were dark circles around his eyes, and his shoulders were hunched. His figure seemed to be almost drowning in the large black hoodie he was wearing. He had covered his yellow head with a snapback.

Tyler watched as Josh fidgeted with the straps of his backpack. Silences between them didn’t occur often, but they were never uncomfortable.

The hustle of the airport seemed to fade around them. The announcements, the chatter of people became all blur of noise in Tyler’s ears, and there was only Josh, and the three words he quietly said,

”I love you.”

Josh looked Tyler in the eyes when he said it. He often did that; find Tyler with his eyes. Josh’s eyes usually sparkled, with joy, mirth, and undeniable love, but this time there was only determination in them.

Tyler nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat. _Coward,_ he scolded himself. _You could say it back one time, meaning it._

He was afraid Josh would _know_ and then Josh would _leave_ , for good. And Tyler rather had only part of Josh than no Josh at all.

Something brushed softly against Tyler’s fingers. Josh’s hand. Tyler took it without hesitation, squeezing it firmly, trying convey everything he couldn’t say in the touch.

”Hey, we’ll see each other soon,” Josh said, trying to sound cheerful. He flashed his perfect teeth in a half-attempted smile that tied Tyler’s stomach in knots.

”Soon,” Tyler parroted. The word mocked him. What was soon? To Tyler, it was the next minute. Second, even.

Josh smiled again, this time close-lipped, but his eyes stayed incredibly warm. The hand that wasn’t holding Tyler’s caressed his cheek quickly. Josh sighed.

”Okay, time to get going, I guess,” he said, letting go of Tyler and grabbing his luggage. Ripping off the band aid. Efficiently. Taking the way opposite to Tyler, the way to his flight to the city of angels.

”Call me when you get there,” Tyler said, forcing his voice not to waver.

”I promise I will,” Josh said, already walking away. Something made him stop and turn, one last time.

”I love you,” he said, an eerie look in his eyes.

”I love you too,” Tyler whispered, but only when Josh was out of earshot.

 

 

_xiv._

 

Tyler woke up to 17 snaps from Josh.

Don’t get it wrong, it was a delight to wake up to, pictures of Josh’s enthusiastic face and other wonderful things he had found, that he wanted Tyler desperately to see.

Tyler screenshotted Josh’s selfies, tempted by the idea of setting one of them as his wallpaper.

 _Creep,_ Josh texted a minute after, making Tyler chuckle.

If he were bolder, he’d send Josh something seductive back. Something more suggestive than the wink emoji he chose, that just made Tyler cringe a little.

 _What are you wearing?_ Josh sent him. Tyler snorted. Speaking of suggestive… He glanced down at his clothes.

_Boxer briefs and a black tee. You?_

Josh sent him a shirtless picture. Maybe Tyler salivated a little, but who could blame him.

 _Haven’t done laundry in a week,_ he announced.

 _Haha,_ Tyler replied. _Same._

 _I miss you,_ he almost typed. The words were bitter and cruel. If only Josh were with him. They could be all silly and suggestive together in bed. Tyler allowed himself daydream for a moment, picturing Josh’s bare side brushing against his arm, the warmth of his skin, the sound of his laughter.

God, he missed him. He missed the way they could be; easy, light-headed and in love. Well, maybe Josh wasn’t _in_ love, but he loved Tyler.

 _He loves me,_ Tyler reassured. _He’s said it._

He opened one of Josh’s selfies and stared at his smiling eyes. His heart was somewhere else, not lodged under his ribs. His blood flowed slowly in his veins and there was an empty ache in his chest.

His heart was with Josh. Tyler hoped Josh was taking a good care of it.

 _How’s the weather up there?_ Josh asked. Tyler had to glance out of his bedroom window. Gray clouds were crowding in the horizon.

_About to rain._

_Same here!_

Tyler frowned at Josh’s reply. It wasn’t sunny in California?

 _Can you do me a favor?_ Josh asked, and Tyler answered, as fast as he could,

_Anything._

_Go outside._

_?_

_Trust me. Do it._

Tyler did not even bother putting on his pants. He jumped out of his bed, and stomped the stairs down, crossed the slippery floor of his hall, and swung the front door open.

Josh.

Joshua William Dun, in the flesh, standing at his front porch, Tyler’s red beanie on his head, framed by the dull gray suburbs behind him.

Tyler blinked slowly. This was a hallucination, right? Tyler’s pining had reached the stage that his brain would make up Josh in front of him.

There was no sound around them. This was the universe: him and Josh. Tyler raised his hand to touch Josh’s skin, to marvel the roughness of his day-old stubble, but before he could do that, Josh pulled him in his arms.

Enveloped in those arms, Tyler felt content and safe. He felt at peace; he felt complete.

”I missed you so, _so_ much, baby boy,” Josh whispered against Tyler’s neck, making Tyler’s skin tingle.

He brushed his lips against the shell of Josh’s ear, as a light kiss. _I’m right here._

Tightening his arms around Josh’s shoulders, he asked,

”I thought you weren’t coming back until your cousin’s wedding. You sent that picture and all.”

Josh chuckled. ”I took that yesterday. I was just messing with you. I wanted to surprise you.”

Humming, with no intent of letting go of Josh, Tyler said,

”What a lovely surprise.”

”Let’s not be apart for a while,” Josh said, starting to sway them back and forth.

And maybe Tyler had just noticed some neighborhood kids staring at them, and he was only wearing boxer briefs after all, and it was a bit chilly, and he hadn’t had breakfast yet, but in that minute, all Tyler wanted was to feel Josh against him, hear his breathing in his ear, and heartbeat on his chest.

”I agree,” he whispered back.

 

\--

 

 

_xv._

”Tyler, honey, could you give me a hand over here?” called Laura, as Tyler was passing the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway, seeing Laura engaged in cooking.

”Sure. How can I be of use? I could set the table?” He suggested.

Laura waved her hand at him. ”Joshua is already doing that. I need watch the stew, could you maybe peel some carrots?” She handed the peeler to Tyler, who was on it in a second.

”Are you excited for the wedding this weekend?” Tyler made an attempt at small talk.

Humming and adding some seasoning to the food, Laura replied,

”Oh, yes, I love weddings. A day of celebrating love, and union, and family. What’s not to put on a good mood?”

She smiled at Tyler, and Tyler returned the smile, reaching over to pick up another carrot.

”Speaking of weddings, have you thought about tying the knot?”

Laura’s question made Tyler’s insides suddenly feel heavy. His hand started to shake, and he set down the peeler. Definitely noticing that, Laura slowly raised her brows.

”I always thought you were a man who’d want to get married,” she added.

Tyler swallowed. He didn’t have the heart to tell Laura, that more than anything he’d love to marry her son, in a heartbeat. But that wasn’t happening.

”Yes. If I had someone to marry.” Tyler’s voice had turned croaky. He turned to stare at his hands, but still caught the peculiar expression on Laura’s face.

”Joshua doesn’t want to get married?” she said, and that sounded more like a question than a statement.

”I don’t know… He haven’t talked about it.”

”But you seem like a couple who’d get married soon.”

Oh. _Oh._

And in that moment, Tyler’s heart broke.

”Laura, Josh and I aren’t a couple.”

Laura gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, stew forgotten.

”You broke up?” She sounded _sad._

”Josh and I were _never_ a couple,” Tyler stated, and something inside him had just died.

”I’m sorry,” Laura rushed to answer, ”I’m sorry for assuming.”

Tears ran down Tyler’s cheeks. He couldn’t take it anymore; he turned around and left the kitchen in a hurry.

But he ran into Josh. Of course he ran into Josh, whose face was pale and haunted.

”T- Tyler?” he said.

”What’s wrong?” Tyler asked on an instinct, because Josh’s eyes were glistening with tears.

”I heard you and mom.”

Someone had smashed Tyler’s heart with a baseball bat, and the shards were now stabbing his insides. He felt cold all over.

”You…”

”I’m sorry,” Josh whispered, ”I’m sorry for crossing the line. You were pretty explicit with it.”

”Explicit with what?”

Josh’s lips wobbled. ”About us being a couple. I thought we were heading that way. I thought we almost…  I was wrong. I’m so sorry for crossing your boundaries. I was so in love with you that I didn’t know how to be rational.”

The warm looks. The care. The touches, the kisses. All the ’I love yous’.

Maybe it wasn’t all in Tyler’s head.

”No, no, no,” he pleaded, like a broken record, taking a step closer to Josh with every word. He placed his hands on either side of Josh’s face, and dug his thumbs in Josh’s soft cheeks.

”You are breaking my heart with those words, and my heart is already in pieces,” he whispered fiercely, pressing his forehead on Josh’s.

”Tyler,” Josh whined.

”You are the love of my life, Joshua Dun. I’ve been so careful with you. I’ve been foolish and scared. I know I don’t have to, anymore.”

Two round tears escaped from Josh’s eyes, but Tyler wiped them gently away.

”Can I kiss you?” he asked Josh, and Josh nodded, his chin nudging Tyler’s.

And Tyler set his lips against Josh’s, and the kiss set him soaring, set him free, erupted a million butterflies in his stomach. Every cliché happened; he felt electric current in his lazy veins.

There was only the press of Josh’s lips and the intoxicating taste of him. There was only love, love that had been hiding from Tyler for too long.

And then there was Jordan, interrupting them with a cough.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://julesfcasablancas.tumblr.com)


End file.
